Broken Trust?

Has it ever happened to you that the person whom you trusted the most refused to understand you? The person who was the closest to you appears to be the most distant? All of a sudden you’re left alone explaining yourself but there is no one to listen to you! Your trust has been broken?

Sometimes, and only very few times in life, should you justify yourself to others because if trust exists, and I have all the reasons in the world to believe that it does, it has to be blind. Trust should be blind. If you have to justify your deeds to your friends, boyfriend, girlfriend or anybody every now and then, you’re with a wrong set of people.

Insecurity is widespread among people. If I have to justify myself to someone every single time, then what is the point of me knowing them and being friends with them in the first place? We might as well behave like we are meeting for the first time with each other. At least, I wouldn’t have to explain myself.

Any new person will give you some benefit of doubt owing to the fact that they don’t know you well and with time, as you start understanding each other better, there shouldn’t be any scope of asking for/giving explanations.

I am not disregarding some instances where people behave differently. At the end of the day, we all are human beings and I have no issues in explaining myself in front of my loved ones. But when you ask the other person to explain, whether or not you’ll believe them will depend on whether you trust them or not. You might love somebody, but trusting is a different ball game altogether. Trust is a blind belief in something or somebody. It doesn’t work on logic; it just exists. If it exists, the other person will see through your actions. If they don’t understand something, they will ask you for an explanation and give you the benefit of doubt. You may not concur, but it is important to know that there is nothing absolutely white or black. They are all shades of grey. Some of my friends will find out and give some cases where there is something absolutely right or wrong. To them, I’d say that exceptions are always there.

There are some people who love you, at least claim so, and they don’t trust you. This is the most toxic situation to be in; love won’t let you go away and lack of trust won’t let you be happy together. Each day, you’d be standing in a witness box and wondering what has happened to your life. You’d be vacillating. Even when you’re explaining yourself, the other person is really not interested in your side of the story. They have a story of their own and they use the elements from your story to justify their own story to themselves. I know it’s easier said than done. The love, or the supposed love, won’t let people part ways and separation will involve tear and pain. But, nothing good in life comes easy.

To begin with, life wasn’t supposed to be easy. Life isn’t a bed of roses. I don’t know why we even compare life to a bed of roses. Why not compare it to a bed of thorns? Why do we not say that life is a bed of thorns? At least, it would set the expectations right. But that would paint a pessimistic picture of the world and I am not a pessimist. I am an optimist, with almost an ideal view of the world. My friends and even acquaintances tell me that I shouldn’t trust people easily. But, my positive view of the world has never landed me into any problem and the people I have trusted so far, barring a few, have always been with me. Goodness prevails among human beings.

When life isn’t a bed of roses, you try to live through the days with courage and by not giving up. Time and tide wait for none. Whether you act in the situation or not, time will pass. It might just help to show some bravery and fight the situation, face it and brace yourself for the outcome. If you believe in God, I’d say whatever happens, happens for good. If you don’t believe in God, then, you, alone, have to steer the wheel of your life.

And if you find yourself explaining in a supposedly trustworthy relationship, romantic or otherwise, and the other person isn’t ready to believe you, think about it. There might have been instances in the past when this would have happened. Maybe you didn’t notice it or maybe it was too small to create a fuss over it/ debate and discuss it. But lack of trust was always there, it just transpired now.

Lost my notebooks

Writing 101: Serially Lost Write about a loss: something (or someone) that was part of your life, and isn’t any more. This doesn’t need to be a depressing exercise; you can write about that time you lost the three-legged race at a picnic. What’s important is reflecting on this experience and what it meant for you — how it felt, why it happened, and what changed because of it. Today’s twist: Make today’s post the first in a three-post series. I was 10, in the fifth grade. It was the standard in which we started working with pens in school. It was a milestone standard for me for several reasons. One, we had abjured the pencils and had just begun using the fountain pen. Two, fifth grade marked the beginning of our seniority. Three, on the personal front, I had joined a new group of people, cliques. Until then, my perception was that it wasn’t easy to get into that group. One fine day, after the summer vacations had gotten over, I failed to find my English notebook. That was also the year when we started writing long answers on our own. Homework and class-work (as we called it) of two months had been lost. It meant a lot to me- a 10 year old losing her notebook only to make it, again, by hand. I wasn’t allowed to get it photocopied. The teacher felt it was good if I did the entire work again by hand. Fortunately, my mom came to my rescue and she did most of the writing for me, or she would dictate and I would write. Days later, I discovered I had lost another notebook, this time Moral Education. With this notebook also, my two months of homework and class-work were at stake. This time I tried even harder to find it. To much of my dismay, I failed to find it even. Again, my mom helped me make that notebook. However, this time, I got a fair share of scolding for not being able to take care of my things. This has been one of the losses of my life as a child. There are several other losses bigger than this- loss of my childhood school crony is amongst those. That was also when I was 10. It meant a lot to me since friends are your lifeline when you are young. You don’t understand the shrewdness of the world. Relationships are so pure and serene. To find out whether I received my notebooks back or not, please click here.

PS: Although I haven’t mentioned any name in the post, people mentioned here might read this and recognize themselves. To all of you, I want to say one thing- Today, I hold no grudges aginst you. Just for this assignment, I dug deep into my past and found this. The feelings described above are what I felt when I was 10, not today. I have moved over these childhood trifles.