Broken Trust?

Has it ever happened to you that the person whom you trusted the most refused to understand you? The person who was the closest to you appears to be the most distant? All of a sudden you’re left alone explaining yourself but there is no one to listen to you! Your trust has been broken?

Sometimes, and only very few times in life, should you justify yourself to others because if trust exists, and I have all the reasons in the world to believe that it does, it has to be blind. Trust should be blind. If you have to justify your deeds to your friends, boyfriend, girlfriend or anybody every now and then, you’re with a wrong set of people.

Insecurity is widespread among people. If I have to justify myself to someone every single time, then what is the point of me knowing them and being friends with them in the first place? We might as well behave like we are meeting for the first time with each other. At least, I wouldn’t have to explain myself.

Any new person will give you some benefit of doubt owing to the fact that they don’t know you well and with time, as you start understanding each other better, there shouldn’t be any scope of asking for/giving explanations.

I am not disregarding some instances where people behave differently. At the end of the day, we all are human beings and I have no issues in explaining myself in front of my loved ones. But when you ask the other person to explain, whether or not you’ll believe them will depend on whether you trust them or not. You might love somebody, but trusting is a different ball game altogether. Trust is a blind belief in something or somebody. It doesn’t work on logic; it just exists. If it exists, the other person will see through your actions. If they don’t understand something, they will ask you for an explanation and give you the benefit of doubt. You may not concur, but it is important to know that there is nothing absolutely white or black. They are all shades of grey. Some of my friends will find out and give some cases where there is something absolutely right or wrong. To them, I’d say that exceptions are always there.

There are some people who love you, at least claim so, and they don’t trust you. This is the most toxic situation to be in; love won’t let you go away and lack of trust won’t let you be happy together. Each day, you’d be standing in a witness box and wondering what has happened to your life. You’d be vacillating. Even when you’re explaining yourself, the other person is really not interested in your side of the story. They have a story of their own and they use the elements from your story to justify their own story to themselves. I know it’s easier said than done. The love, or the supposed love, won’t let people part ways and separation will involve tear and pain. But, nothing good in life comes easy.

To begin with, life wasn’t supposed to be easy. Life isn’t a bed of roses. I don’t know why we even compare life to a bed of roses. Why not compare it to a bed of thorns? Why do we not say that life is a bed of thorns? At least, it would set the expectations right. But that would paint a pessimistic picture of the world and I am not a pessimist. I am an optimist, with almost an ideal view of the world. My friends and even acquaintances tell me that I shouldn’t trust people easily. But, my positive view of the world has never landed me into any problem and the people I have trusted so far, barring a few, have always been with me. Goodness prevails among human beings.

When life isn’t a bed of roses, you try to live through the days with courage and by not giving up. Time and tide wait for none. Whether you act in the situation or not, time will pass. It might just help to show some bravery and fight the situation, face it and brace yourself for the outcome. If you believe in God, I’d say whatever happens, happens for good. If you don’t believe in God, then, you, alone, have to steer the wheel of your life.

And if you find yourself explaining in a supposedly trustworthy relationship, romantic or otherwise, and the other person isn’t ready to believe you, think about it. There might have been instances in the past when this would have happened. Maybe you didn’t notice it or maybe it was too small to create a fuss over it/ debate and discuss it. But lack of trust was always there, it just transpired now.

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The Evolution of my Name-Ritika to Ritika

Say Your NameWrite about your first name: Are you named after someone or something? Are there any stories or associations attached to it? If you had the choice, would you rename yourself?

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My name is Ritika. It is a name in the Hindi language, my native language, and can be easily translated to English as well.

After my summer vacations in the 9th grade, while I was submitting the holidays’ project to my Sanskrit teacher, she noticed my name written in Hindi and told me the very spelling of it made it meaningless. No such word ever existed in the Hindi language. Language evolves, new words are added and more than 8 years since then, there is still no such word. What a meaningless name! I had always asked my parents the meaning of my name and they were ever clueless. I think they fancied this word.

Curiously, “Where did this word come from to your minds?”

“We don’t know; we were unaware!” The answer is in a flat tone.

“Who does that to their child? Meaningless name!” (Sarcastic, awestruck and shocked)

We have this conversation routinely. Isn’t it strange, in a society that believes, to a significant degree, in the impact one’s name can have on one’s life, a couple gave their child a meaningless name? I have read cases of successful Bollywood stars who changed their names and became successful. I know I am exaggerating a bit, but let’s just think!

My teacher then told me two words that resembled my name and had meanings. She gave me a choice- one meant going by traditions and set conventions, and the other one is related to the creation of the Vedas. I chose the latter; I found it better. I had a choice to choose my name, in English all the three were the same, my original name and the two new names; however, in Hindi, there was a sea change. Only a few days ago, I checked the meaning of my name on Google, given the storehouse of knowledge it is, an altogether different meaning appeared-‘Movement, flowing stream’. Even this meaning looked apt to me, I love changes in life, perhaps, change is the only constant in life. Any thing that refuses to change with time, meets its end. The old must pave way for the new.

Whole of this conversation with my teacher was a short 5-minute talk. I do not know if such things really have any impact on one’s life or not and neither do I rely on them, but it felt good after 13 years to have a meaningful name; it feels good even now. I do not leave things to destiny, but, somewhere I believe it’s still good to set the forces by your side. Only recently, I came across a post on speaking tree indicating how good my name in English ‘Ritika’ is for me! It sounds stupid, but I wouldn’t change it for anything else.

I Pledge Allegiance

Are you Patriotic? What does being patriotic mean to you?

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We all have nationalities. Owing to the country of my birth and the current geographical boundaries, I am an Indian. However, my lineage takes me to a small village in Pakistan named Chunian, near Lahore. My grandparents were amongst the several thousands who crossed the borders when Bharat got independent and partitioned.

I have never been to Pakistan. All my memories are associated with India. To correct myself, all my memories are associated with a few cities in India where I have spent my life until now. I aspire to visit several other places in the country; at the same time, I long for visiting the Americas, Europe, Africa and other places in the world and the yearning is the same.

The Indian army and the Pakistan Army are never at peace with each other. There is news of the Pakistan Army violating ceasefire bringing truce to a standstill. All the efforts of the governments of the two nations are in vain. Yet the people in the two nations really do not despise the other. Pakistan isn’t spared from terrorist attacks either. It isn’t about these two nations alone. People everywhere are struggling. The society is shackled by crippling menaces such as terrorism, poverty, unemployment. It was as heart wrenching when kids were shot in Peshawar as when they were shot in Connecticut. It wasn’t Pakistan or America’s, but the entire world’s loss. Every government aims at providing quality education to children; at least, it’s on their agenda. People everywhere experience fernweh, love serein, hope for kairos with their beloved and experience many more emotions. Despite being distinguished on endless parameters, we, by our disposition, are, essentially, all the same.

The daily prompt came a day after India’s Independence Day. I am patriotic. However, my patriotism isn’t for India, it is for the people that define her. For if all the people were to leave the world, every place would just be a piece of land and the same. India has been fighting for years against the caste system that has been prevalent in the society. Likewise, America has been fighting for giving equal rights to people of African origin. My allegiance is for all the people who stand up for what is right. It isn’t for a piece of land, it for the living beings that define her, who are truly all the same. My patriotism is for humanity.

Blogging 101: Introduce yourself

Today’s assignment: write and publish a “who I am and why I’m here” post.
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Either you do it or you don’t! There’s no try.

I am Ritika Khanna. By my degree and profession, I am an engineer. However, I have a special inclination towards writing and words. I think a lot. There is, perhaps, no end to my thinking. I was inspired by a friend of mine to begin blogging. He began blogging; I read his posts and got motivated for myself.

My blog is a reflection of my thoughts with certain elements added from my imagination. I always try to see manifestations of my thoughts. These manifestations fuel my blog. I haven’t been a regular blogger until recently when I came through the Daily Post where I found Daily Prompts. Engrossed into the peeves of daily life, I needed this push to establish myself as a regular writer. I hope I can grow.

I am a cheerful, affable girl who can gel with people easily. I am genuinely interested in knowing people. A nefelibata, I don’t follow the conventions set by the society. I have legions of wishes I aspire to fulfill in this life.

I have copied this portion from my About Section. I am here to express myself! I aspire to improve and grow by the knowledge of the world. The concept of learning from others has always captured my imagination. What amazes me the most is our ability to learn by pooling the knowledge and resources all over the world, via the WWW. I could maintain a personal journal also, but until there is an obligation, I never work. All my peers here are a source of motivation to me.

I like to write about the things that happen in our lives, things that tend to affect us: friends, people, conscience, the different phases of our lives and all that comes to my mind. Presumably, I can converge to something one day. I have owned a blog page for the past two and a half years, but it is only now that I have decided to write regularly.

I hope I can become a part of this larger community by writing regularly. I have always loved to have people and friends in my life. If Blogging 101 can give me a few friends with whom I can connect beyond this platform, I will consider my task done. I aspire to have read several books and have at least 1000 followers if I am able to blog successfully for the next year. I also wish to try different styles of writing over the next year. Later in my life, I want to have several books to my credit. As of now, I am garnering more and more ideas.

The adage written above is for nobody except for me. Initially, I thought I couldn’t find topics and issues to write on, given it took me some time to think about the appropriate topics. I found Daily Prompts on the Daily Post and thought my trouble had come to an end. Then, I registered for Blogging 101 and Writing 101 courses held in September this year. I couldn’t even complete those courses. I realise, the issue with me isn’t the ability to think what to write on, it is the lack of determination to write.

I had written this introductory post for the last Blogging 101 course. But, for this course, my aim is to prove myself to me. I am here to write daily, at least for this one month. I wrote this publicly because, I think, if you want to achieve something, tell the people around you about it. There are few assignments that I had completed in the last course. I will always edit them a bit before putting them again. (The first two assignments are the same).

Blogging 101: Your Dream Reader

Today’s Assignment: publish a post for your dream reader, and include a new-to-you element in it.
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I want to dedicate this post to those people who are struggling to keep up with their lives and invite those people who have managed to fructify their lives and have been able to live it happily, to help others.

‘Life isn’t a bed of roses.’ I have read this quote and several others like it innumerable times. I have heard it from people. This quote poses several questions in my mind. From where does the idea of comparing life to a bed of roses come? Roses have thorns. Does this statement take into consideration those thorns? Wouldn’t it be better if we put forth a simpler and a straightforward statement like, ‘Life is cruel!’ At least, such a statement doesn’t arouse any false hope that a bed of roses does!

Life is difficult. It changes within seconds. A single incident has the potentiality to ruin your preparation of years.

I had been preparing for college entrance exams for a year and a half. Six months before the exam, something happened and I lost my track. I wouldn’t delve into the details of that incident. But, it showed me how cruel life could get sometimes. It deserts you. I couldn’t come to terms with what had happened and I kept on thinking about the past, imaging what my life would have been had that incident not happened, and crying over the present. That was exactly five years ago. Although I graduated from a good college, I couldn’t fulfil my aspiration of getting into the college I had coveted so much.

Then, I failed to be courageous enough to deal with my life. Had I mustered the courage to face that challenge, my life would have been better. It isn’t bad now. It’s good! It isn’t probably the best, but it is still worth living it happily and taking risks. Presumably, that’s because now I know that I am the only person responsible for my life. Then, I was dealing with what had happened. I wasn’t dealing actually, I was just crying. Today, I can regret for having cried then and tomorrow, I can crib for having wasted my time for something that had happened five years ago. This vicious circle can go on, forever. Fortunately, I came out of it early.

What I am trying to say is cribbing about what happens in life can ruin your future. Cribbing is next to smoking. The sooner you leave it, the merrier. No matter what life does to you, one must never lose control on oneself and think through their head and heart. A pre-requisite step to it is coming to terms with your life. The realization that life is cruel further eases the pain that life inflicts on us. You never know what challenge is imminent.

challenges

Thank you Michelle for this assignment. This post has inspired several other thoughts on life in my mind. I would like to share those thoughts.
P.S.: Please feel free to correct me and provide your suggestions if you disagree or wish to add something.

Blogging 101: Say Your Name

Today’s assignment: edit your title and tagline.
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Seems like after this course Blogging 101, my blog page will offer a better sight to my viewers!
I had updated the tagline only a month prior to the Blogging 101 course held in September and changed the title when the same assignment was given.

Title: The Cloud- Walker
I am a cloud walker in all the aspects you can think about one. I want to fly among the clouds, like birds, fly high, higher, till the highest point! But yes, I know that finally I must rest in my nest and stay at the ground, to which I belong. I want to experience the infinite freedom, as vast as the expanse of the blue sky- the freedom that the soul can feel and not the freedom given to us by our respective constitutions! Forgive me if this line is an off for you, one, that I am not a native English speaker, and two, I just penned down my emotions as they came to my mind. Sometimes, I want to belong to the sky- be amongst the various creatures that the clouds can take the shape of, whilst at other times I just love the life I have been granted!

Tagline: Delving into the colours of life
Life is colourful. Nature has given us everything in abundance. I mostly write about the lessons life beteems us- the good, the bad, the highs, the lows, the happier moments, the insipid ones et al. I try to take things figuratively. Sometimes, this proves to be advantageous, whilst, at other times, I end up burdening my head. Life isn’t a bed of roses. It isn’t supposed to be! But, whatever might be the situation, I firmly believe, “Every cloud has a silver lining”.
Someday in the future I might change my tag line, as I evolve. I believe only those things can survive that can evolve with time and that don’t refuse to change.

Blogging 101: Introduce yourself

Today’s assignment: write and publish a “who I am and why I’m here” post.
******
Either you do it or you don’t! There’s no try.

I am Ritika Khanna. By my degree and profession, I am an engineer. However, I have a special inclination towards writing and words. I think a lot. There is, perhaps, no end to my thinking. I was inspired by a friend of mine to begin blogging. He began blogging; I read his posts and got motivated for myself.

My blog is a reflection of my thoughts with certain elements added from my imagination. I always try to see manifestations of my thoughts. These manifestations fuel my blog. I haven’t been a regular blogger until recently when I came through the Daily Post where I found Daily Prompts. Engrossed into the peeves of daily life, I needed this push to establish myself as a regular writer. I hope I can grow.

I am a cheerful, affable girl who can gel with people easily. I am genuinely interested in knowing people. A nefelibata, I don’t follow the conventions set by the society. I have legions of wishes I aspire to fulfill in this life.

I have copied this portion from my About Section. I am here to express myself! I aspire to improve and grow by the knowledge of the world. The concept of learning from others has always captured my imagination. What amazes me the most is our ability to learn by pooling the knowledge and resources all over the world, via the WWW. I could maintain a personal journal also, but until there is an obligation, I never work. All my peers here are a source of motivation to me.

I like to write about the things that happen in our lives, things that tend to affect us: friends, people, conscience, the different phases of our lives and all that comes to my mind. Presumably, I can converge to something one day. I have owned a blog page for the past two years. But it is only now that I have decided to write regularly.

I hope I can become a part of this larger community by writing regularly. I have always loved to have people and friends in my life. If Blogging 101 can give me a few friends with whom I can connect beyond this platform, I will consider my task done. I aspire to have read several books and have at least 1000 followers if I am able to blog successfully for the next year. I also wish to try different styles of writing over the next year. Later in my life, I want to have several books to my credit. As of now, I am garnering more and more ideas.

The adage written above is for nobody except for me. Initially, I thought I couldn’t find topics and issues to write on, given it took me some time to think about the appropriate topics. I found Daily Prompts on the Daily Post and thought my trouble had come to an end. Then, I registered for Blogging 101 and Writing 101 courses held in September this year. I couldn’t even complete those courses. I realise, the issue with me isn’t the ability to think what to write on, it is the lack of determination to write.

I had written this introductory post for the last Blogging 101 course. But, for this course, my aim is to prove myself to me. I am here to write daily, at least for this one month. I wrote this publically because, I think, if you want to achieve something, tell the people around you about it. There are few assignments that I had completed in the last course. I will always edit them a bit before putting them again. (The first two assignments are same).