Knowing people has been a herculean task of all the times. What they think about you, how they perceive everything around, and as young people, to what extent should we open up with them and blurt out our life’s secrets in front of them, has been important always. Dollars to dumplings, being able to understand the psyche of people is of paramount importance. To live in a society, making friends is obvious, and often we end up being with the wrong set of people.
My life has been an upheaval, in the past 6 months, complete with turmoil. People, in fact, best of my friends have taken the spirits out of me. I went down in the precipice, my gauntlet of thoughts, and finally I dream of a bridge over the precipice. It is still a dream, literally, but yes, I do recognize some of the parameters as essential and must know.
Here I present certain points, that can help judge people. They aren’t the ultimate set, nor any hard and fast rules, but sufficient enough to give you a start. All these are derived from my personal experiences, for experience is a hard teacher. It takes the test before giving lessons. Presumably, you might be able to relate to some or even, all of them.
1. Once a teacher remarked, ‘There are no free lunches in the world‘. Nobody does anything for you, for free. There are always some conditions, asterisks, that may be hidden. Even your parents’ love is conditional. They love you because you are their kid, they don’t bestow everything on any child.
2. Always take a holistic view of the person. Never draw conclusions from a single situation. If somebody helps you or has a polite demeanor towards you, have a fair share of gratitude for them. Help them whenever they need yours, but, remember, don’t throw yourself body and soul and blurt out your life’s secrets in front of them. A token of gratitude for gratitude will do the task. Contrary to this, if the other person shouts on you, he might be going through the worst phase of his life.
3. 10 people aren’t wrong at the same time. A man is known by his friends. If in general the public holds some view for a person, respect their view. I do not say that spread it around, but don’t discard it either.
4. Extremely sweet and innocent people are fake. People do get angry. Anger is as much a part of your emotions as is Love.
5. Don’t hunt for best friends at the age of 18. If you couldn’t do it till 15, let it go now. Chances are you will be heading for a trouble. That’s so because, at 18 people work astutely, the innocence is lost. Confide in your parents or learn to be independent.
6. Over frank people can’t keep your secrets. They will babble it out somewhere. It isn’t their intention, but their disposition.
7. A good friend will always point out your mistakes. Of course, you aren’t the perfect person and your friend fortunate enough that you struck them.
8. Until utterly in confidence, never ever go around bitching. You don’t know when you might get to hear it from somebody unexpected. I say, ‘Until utterly in confidence’, because I am here to help you understand people, and not direct you to adopt certain habits.
Try to develop an observational sense. Keeping quiet and perceiving things around helps a lot to simplify things, rather than interfering with others speech. Ultimately, the fact remains that God has given us 2 ears, 2 eyes and just 1 mouth.There has to be some purpose. However, the very fact that at least more than 50% houses haven;t been robbed, not all the girls raped and not all the businesses fallen is a certitude that there still remains goodness in people. All the five fingers of a hand aren’t equal. Do not Judge anybody by the yardsticks of somebody else’s deeds You have to find out that goodness by being aware of the meanness in people. Remember, ‘Being alive is the greatest phenomenon, not only on this planet, but the entire universe’.
PS- The views expressed are author’s personal. She doesn’t intend to discard or support anybody else’s viewpoint.