Broken Trust?

Has it ever happened to you that the person whom you trusted the most refused to understand you? The person who was the closest to you appears to be the most distant? All of a sudden you’re left alone explaining yourself but there is no one to listen to you! Your trust has been broken?

Sometimes, and only very few times in life, should you justify yourself to others because if trust exists, and I have all the reasons in the world to believe that it does, it has to be blind. Trust should be blind. If you have to justify your deeds to your friends, boyfriend, girlfriend or anybody every now and then, you’re with a wrong set of people.

Insecurity is widespread among people. If I have to justify myself to someone every single time, then what is the point of me knowing them and being friends with them in the first place? We might as well behave like we are meeting for the first time with each other. At least, I wouldn’t have to explain myself.

Any new person will give you some benefit of doubt owing to the fact that they don’t know you well and with time, as you start understanding each other better, there shouldn’t be any scope of asking for/giving explanations.

I am not disregarding some instances where people behave differently. At the end of the day, we all are human beings and I have no issues in explaining myself in front of my loved ones. But when you ask the other person to explain, whether or not you’ll believe them will depend on whether you trust them or not. You might love somebody, but trusting is a different ball game altogether. Trust is a blind belief in something or somebody. It doesn’t work on logic; it just exists. If it exists, the other person will see through your actions. If they don’t understand something, they will ask you for an explanation and give you the benefit of doubt. You may not concur, but it is important to know that there is nothing absolutely white or black. They are all shades of grey. Some of my friends will find out and give some cases where there is something absolutely right or wrong. To them, I’d say that exceptions are always there.

There are some people who love you, at least claim so, and they don’t trust you. This is the most toxic situation to be in; love won’t let you go away and lack of trust won’t let you be happy together. Each day, you’d be standing in a witness box and wondering what has happened to your life. You’d be vacillating. Even when you’re explaining yourself, the other person is really not interested in your side of the story. They have a story of their own and they use the elements from your story to justify their own story to themselves. I know it’s easier said than done. The love, or the supposed love, won’t let people part ways and separation will involve tear and pain. But, nothing good in life comes easy.

To begin with, life wasn’t supposed to be easy. Life isn’t a bed of roses. I don’t know why we even compare life to a bed of roses. Why not compare it to a bed of thorns? Why do we not say that life is a bed of thorns? At least, it would set the expectations right. But that would paint a pessimistic picture of the world and I am not a pessimist. I am an optimist, with almost an ideal view of the world. My friends and even acquaintances tell me that I shouldn’t trust people easily. But, my positive view of the world has never landed me into any problem and the people I have trusted so far, barring a few, have always been with me. Goodness prevails among human beings.

When life isn’t a bed of roses, you try to live through the days with courage and by not giving up. Time and tide wait for none. Whether you act in the situation or not, time will pass. It might just help to show some bravery and fight the situation, face it and brace yourself for the outcome. If you believe in God, I’d say whatever happens, happens for good. If you don’t believe in God, then, you, alone, have to steer the wheel of your life.

And if you find yourself explaining in a supposedly trustworthy relationship, romantic or otherwise, and the other person isn’t ready to believe you, think about it. There might have been instances in the past when this would have happened. Maybe you didn’t notice it or maybe it was too small to create a fuss over it/ debate and discuss it. But lack of trust was always there, it just transpired now.

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I define love thus: The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.

Love is not effortless. To the contrary, love is effortful.

–From ‘The Road Less Travelled’ by M. Scott Peck

Both these quotes say one of the biggest truths.We all have always dreamt of being in love. Love looks like a seredipitous phenomenon- you have somebody to understand you, listen to you and care for you. Seldom do we realize that love is that one thing that requires the maximum investment. The care and understanding that we all expect must be given as well. Love is action- oriented. It involves the growth of two people. It becomes even more important in present times. Relationships are failing at an alarmingly high rate.

People today are moving towards conscious love. People want to be in relationships where both the partners are committed to growth- individual growth,  collective growth and the growth that makes the world better. This growth requires efforts. Love might just happen, but it won’t be able to sustain itself. To most of us, love looks like a destination, whereas it is a practice that must be practised day in and day out.

The lines you whispered in my ears

Daily prompt Whisper

Napping, we were walking on our roads
Enroute to end, our roads crossed
Engrossed in my world, I was singing a song
Little efforts in, you understood my incomplete song
The lines you, hence, whispered in my ears
Entered my world, took away my fears
Jubilant and happy, we got along and sing our crazy song

 

With this piece, I have attempted an acrostic.